In times like these

To quote Stephen K. Amos
you need to "find the funnies"

So in these times where you're waist deep in desperation and you always seem to be one step behind

just try to find the positives.

So what you've got a 6000 word report due in in under 36 hours?

So what you're gonna be working your mismatched little socks off constantly until then?

In 36 hours it will be done. And you will be free to waste as much time as you'd like.

So what if the weathers horrible?

Your umbrellas blown inside out, your coat isn't waterproof and you didn't get a seat on the train.

You'll be home soon. You can have a long hot bath and mooch around in your comedy Primark pyjamas.

I have a lot of experience in looking for the silver lining, but only because I've had a lot of dark clouds to look for them round.

Remember: when you're swimming in shit, it's best to keep your chin up.


P.S.
My blog hit 1000 unique views last week. I am flattered and mildly disturbed that so many people are actually reading this

Frequently Asked Questions about studying Geography.

This post is designed to be an informative jaunt through the various questions I get asked on a regular basis about doing a geography degree.

So you study Geography?

Yes, I am in my second year of a BA in Geography at Royal Holloway

Pah, isn't that just glorified colouring in?

Nope, we get to travel the world in the pursuit of knowledge. How does your boring degree compare to that, stud?

Where are your colouring pencils geographer?

I left the lids off my felt tips and they all dried out :(
N.B: we don't actually do any colouring in

I guess you must know all the world capital cities?

I have a friend that only just found out Egypt is in Africa and she's studying Geography. What we're really concerned with is how the world and the people that live on the world work and interact. Capital cities don't mean doodly squit.

Oh yeah you do all that plate tectonics and volcanoes stuff don't you?

... actually I'm a human geographer.

A what?

A human geographer. We study the way that human beings interact with each other and the planet.

That's not geography!

Yes it is. Please see above.

What are you planning on doing with your degree once you graduate?
I have literally got no idea at all, I considered opening a cake baking business but I would just become morbidly obese. Nothing would make it out the door.
I also considered a life as a musician, but then I realised I can't play an instrument. Although that never stopped Cheryl Cole.

What are you doing your dissertation on?

Nandos.

What?!

I am doing my dissertation on the way that Nandos peri-peri chicken restaurant fits in to the cultural foodscape of the United Kingdom. Sounds delicious doesn't it?

That's not geography!?

Watch this space for info on participating in afore mentioned dissertation! Gonna need some Nandos loving focus groups! There may be free chicken on the cards...

Some thoughts on drinking.

Here's a fun fact about Laura Martin: I very rarely drink. 

I'll have a glass of wine with a meal or a celebratory pint after an exam or something but it's very unusual for me to drink to the point of inebriation. 

It's not that I don't like to drink - I do.
My reasons for forsaking le booze are many

1) I get the mother of all hangovers.
Literally think of the worst hangover you've ever had then times it by 100 and that's what happens to me.

2) I prefer to be able to remember my antics
If I'm gonna make a twat of myself, I'd rather remember who I've offended. This is due to too many occasions when I've woken up to someone being very annoyed at me.

but the most important reason why I rarely get drunk these days is this:

3) I don't like clubs.
The idea of going to a smelly over crowded club with sticky floor and music so loud you are unable to hear yourself speak let alone hold any kind of meaningful conversation just does not appeal.

There are times when I feel slightly left out of the loop when people upload hundreds of samey photos of themselves with friends in clubs on Facebook but then I remember that I'm not really missing much. Just a horrible hangover and the agro of the obligatory "Oh my god... I'm so sorry about my behaviour last night" text the next morning.

Call me a square but I'd much rather sit in a bar with a nice bottle of wine (or 3 pints of Cider, dependant on the company) and get quietly smashed with people I care about than in a room full of strangers. 

Sorry about that.

(Photo from Crusting Pipe Wine Bar, Covent Garden, London)

Dear Prospective Employers

Dear Prospective Employers

If the recent article on Forbes.com is to believed (click here) you have probably thoroughly scoured my social networking sites and may well have stumbled upon this blog. With this in mind, I thought I would take a minute to reassure you that everything said on this is said with a large serving of hyperbole, imagination and general embellishment. I am not actually a good for nothing slob with a penchant for stealing the cat down the road. I do actually have some essential life skills. I make a cracking banana cake and you should give me an interview immediately.

Regards,

Laura Martin

Quarter Life Crisis

I have a knack for surrounding myself with extremely talented people.

It's not that I resent them for this, I'm very proud of them.

Take for example my good friend from University, who I know reads this blog so will probably know it's him I'm talking about.

Not only does he have a thriving social life, he also (although through occasional bouts of insomnia) achieves at least an A in the majority of his coursework and is probably gonna do extremely well in his exams.

I do not have this talent. 

I'd much rather be at home with my boyfriend watching Bridget Jones' Diary.

Apparently my body and my mind appreciate sleep and biscuits more than all nighters in The Bedford Library.

Because of this, I have never excelled academically. Basically, I'm far too lazy.

My brother referees for U18s at the weekend. He's very good at it and earns good money doing it.

 I am not keen on organised sports.

My CV is sadly lacking in terms of Extra Curriculars.

I was once on the Hockey Team and have been known to spend an hour or so talking to kids with learning difficulties, but since leaving sixth form I've done exactly none.

I once joined a gym, but the prospect of exhausting myself on purpose in the pursuit of the perfect body did not appeal. 

My boyfriend Myles is a guitar teacher, performer and all round musical know it all. He's one of the most talented people I know. I did learn piano for a while and even took some grades but it's not something I would say I was particularly good at. I know if I tried I could probably do well at it, but as I mentioned above, I'm basically a massive slacker.

Graduating in just under a year has sent me in to what I have been told is called a quarter life crisis.

I've come to the conclusion that what I'm good at is procrastinating, bullshitting my way through exams and writing blogs in a convoluted way that gives the illusion of intelligence. Actually all it is is a fairly extensive vocabulary and a spell checker.

Here's a video of a dog in shoes.

P.S. I've changed the settings so non blogspot members can comment so knock yourselves out!

Freerice! Help feed the starving

This the first really serious blog I've done and all I'm doing is encouraging you to play games! Yay!

Freerice is a simple game. For every question you get right, 10 grains of rice are donated to the World Food Organisation. 

Yes you heard right.

By answering simple multiple choice questions, you can help alleviate the hunger of a seriously malnourished person on one of the World Food Organisations projects world wide!

Just follow the link below:

http://freerice.com/#/flags-world/716201

I've set it to world flags but you can select whatever subject you like :)

For more info on FreeRice, click this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freerice

So if you think you're just gonna be procrastinating all day, do the right thing and procrastinate for the good of humanity :P

Alternatively, here's a video of a cute puppy

Procrastination at its finest.

Things I have learnt

On September 1st 2012 I will turn 21 years old. 

As well as scaring me half to death, the prospect of adulthood has lead me to contemplate the things I have learnt during the last 20 years 7 months and 29 days.

It has also brought me to the conclusion that since my Hogwarts acception letter is now nearly 10 years late, it probably isn't coming.

To mark the occasion, I have compiled a list of the Top Ten "Things I have learnt in the past 20 years 7 months and 29 days." 

10)

As a rule, non aquatic animals do not like water.

This lesson was learnt as a result of trying to bath many a dog/cat/budgie.

9)

Primark shoes fall apart.

This lesson was learnt many years ago but is still ignored to this day

8)

As a rule, technology does not like water.

This lesson was learnt through the deaths of several cameras, iPods and mobile phones.

7)

Children don't care if you've had a crappy day

Especially children that just want to buy some new school shoes and leave as quickly as they possibly can.

6)

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Self explanatory.

5)

If you spread yourself thinly, you'll wear out quickly.

You can't please everyone, something's got to give. Sometimes a day doing nothing in your pyjamas eating inexcusable numbers of chocolate digesteves is not only wonderful. It is also necessary to avoid a nervous breakdown.

4)

Don't leave work until the last minute

This rule was learnt the hard way and is ignored constantly. And currently.

3)

My room is only ever tidy when I have something more important to be doing.

For example, with an exam in 3 days, a 6000 word report and a dissertation proposal due, my room is the tidiest it has been in years.

2)

I will never ever be good with money.

Being broke is a constant problem for me and probably always will be regardless of how much I get paid.

and most prominently

1)

The video of the pug in the toilet will never ever stop being funny.
Behold!

That will do for now...